Journey of the Ex-Slob

I am not a naturally organized person (I have my husband deceived but that's only because I look organized next to him haha). I was the kid who did her homework on the car ride to school and stayed up until the wee hours finishing up papers and digging those semi-crumpled papers out of her Trapper Keeper. As a young adult I lost my drivers license at least once a year until I was about 22 years old. I'd fall into work at 2 minutes till I was supposed to be there and half the time I'd be carrying my shoes or have my shirt on inside out (I usually ate breakfast and did my make up on my commute). When I was put in charge of the controlled drug records at work, I figured I'd probably end up destroying the entire company over some addition error.

When I became a mother at the age of 22, one of the things that God really impressed on me was that I needed to break my bad habits in order not to pass them on to my children (hopefully). So I've spent the last 9 years trying to become the organized person I would like my kids to be (hopefully). I'm definitely doing a lot better--I have a purse (!) and a wallet (!) and they hang on a peg (!).

Ultimately my efforts are to please the Lord. I truly believe that part of being a good steward of the things He has trusted us with is a.) being able to find them and b.) managing them (No, I am not talking about my kids! I know where they are except for that one morning 4+ years ago...old blog entry).

The newest step that I believe the Lord is leading us to take is a tighter daily schedule, more responsibility for the older three children, more structured sibling interaction, and myself being even more intentional about my time. Last year I felt like we had a good routine going but God definitely brought some areas to my attention that need to be tweaked a bit.

I bought a used copy of "Managers of their Homes" by the Maxwells and have been poring over that and praying for direction. This book is a total answer to prayer! I can not wait to get our new daily schedule together and see the results. One of the things the book pointed out was that we are stewards of the time God had given us. That really convicted me as I know there are ways I can certainly can improve the way I use time. I need to ask God how He wants me to use the time He has given me. "You may not have time to do everything but you have the time do everything God has called you to do." is often repeated during the book. Which is wonderful because I often fret about all the things I can't seem to get accomplished. If I seek His will on what I need to do, then I shouldn't feel like a failure when I don't get those other things done. And just maybe, with more self discipline and a schedule I will be find it possible to do more in a day than before (I hope!). And I feel the need to stop thinking of it as "My Time" and instead think of it as "the time He has blessed me with."

I guess this is all part of the journey of an ex-slob :)

Chicken Update

Would you believe that there are three chickens in that little 12"x12" nesting box? Never would I have guessed it were possible until I came across this little bit of bird brained-ness. Apparently all but one had to lay her egg right that moment.

Also, did you know that if a Rhode Island Red attacks you and you backhand it in self defense it keeps coming back for more? Never would guessed that one either. I had to smack this chicken-with-an-attitude more than a few times, pick it up and restrain it by the neck, and finally hold it upside down to break its crazy spell. Seriously! I was just kneeling down petting one of the other birds and this one just charged me and would not back off! I have worked with animals for years and with birds in particular, you do not back down from them or else they think they are boss. Dealt with geese, ducks, parakeets, parrots, cockatiels, and even a turkey and this little chicken was probably the most fiercest avian I've had to take down a notch in the pecking order!

Weird thing about that chicken--she'll nail anyone except for Penny. Pretty sure that Melody (the chicken) thinks that Penny is the top bird. Penny walks right up to Mel and picks her up and carries all over the yard. It only looks ghetto when Penny is wearing a diaper and no clothing.

Melody is dealing with some hormonal issues hence the sudden aggression. She has apparently gone "broody" which means she would like to hatch some eggs and be a teenage momma chicken. Sorry Mel, a'int gonna happen. We finally got her off the nest and back out with the flock after about 10 days of perpetual nest sitting. Her attitude has improved greatly but I still don't trust her.

Final note on the portion of my blog dedicated to living with backyard chickens: A new little opossum has been coming around our yard. A year ago I would have been enamored with him. Now, all I see is a varmint going after my chickens! I saw him out on the patio the other night so I grabbed the Maglite and a flyswatter and ran out the back door at full speed, hollering insults at him and his mother, etc. I almost caught that thing! I did not know they were so slow! No wonder you see so many dead in the road!

And that's The Chicken Update. Goodnight.

I have an enormous problem with being assertive. Time and time again, I am caught off guard by the words of others and I immediately resort to being a people pleaser. Then later I hate myself for not saying what I really think.

I always feel a sick chill when confronting someone--whether it's who was first at the deli counter or something actually important like a person challenging me about a decision.

And the thing is, I am not a wimp. I have extremely strong opinons on many subjects and I have no problem relaying them in a written form or a small group of people (even if I already know they disagree with me) if it's a part of a conversation. And just ask my husband--he gets to hear all of my rants and ramblings.

Anyway, I feel especially lousy about my lack of assertivness today because it let down one of my kids. I was so taken aback about a situation that I couldn't even fight for my own precious kid. It wasn't a huge deal but the situation was rather ridiculous and if I had been prepared I would have dealt with things in an appropriately assertive way.

But no. I was left slack jawed and dumb and acquiesced to something I did not agree with because I did not want to cause a scene or be a jerk. That's always my deal: not wanting to make a fuss. And I don't want to come off as a jerk.

Where is the line between being assertive and being arrogant, selfish, and/or pushy?

Are you a pushy soccer mom if you tell your kid's coach that even though your kid isn't the star player they should be playing more than 7 minutes per game? Or should you just go with the flow and tell your kid "Hey, if you practice more then you'll get to play more."

If someone gets in front of you in line do you mention it or just let it go because it really doesn't matter? For the record, I wouldn't say anything because I'd rather wait the extra few minutes then risk being cussed out in front of my kids (and even though that person would be a jerk, I would feel awful for upsetting them).

Most importantly, what does God say about being assertive? Aren't we supposed to be meek? But does "meek" mean doormat (no, I don't think it does). Aren't we supposed to be peacemakers? Isn't letting that person who cut us line just go ahead making peace? Jesus sure wasn't a pushover. But He always had the right thing to say! Oh how I wish I had the wisdom to know what to say so that my words would be pleasing to Him!

Bottom line is that I want my life to be pleasing to Christ and I am having a terrible time reconciling this issue. I know there is a place between doormat and pushy jerk. I just need to find it.

While Studying Ancient Rome...

One must build an aquaduct!

The Simple Woman's Notebook

The view from where I sit ...evidence of little people everywhere! I like that my house looks like children live in it. Really.

Outside My Window...beautiful cool evening. Tomatoes and pepper plants probably aren't digging the chilly weather though.

I am thinking...that it's a privilege to change diapers, tuck little people into bed, kiss boo-boos, teach a child to read, play The Tooth Fairy, be "nurse" to someone sick, cheer on a brand new potty trainee, love a child who is acting unlovable.

I am thankful for...a sweet husband who never fails to ask what tempting food he can bring home for me. Just while pregnant though! He is sweet not to ask me that question when I'm trying to practice food discipline!

We are learning...that the caterpillars we found at a restaurant the other day don't like any of the plants in our yard. I don't want to say "I told you so." but I'm this close.

From the kitchen...I flee. Gag!!

I am wearing...my pj pants and a t-shirt. Love living in the pj pants!

I am creating...hopefully a family that will carry on our Christian heritage to future generations. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" 3 John 1:4 (NIV) I'm applying that to my grandchildren, great grand-kids, and so forth.

I am going...to plant cucumbers this weekend.

I am reading..."Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent. For at least the tenth time. No joke.

I am hoping...to find our new midwife to be one of the two we are interviewing this week. I hate interviews.

I am hearing...a bit of wind outside. So peaceful.

Around the house...our new microwave still smells like burnt hair after last weeks burnt macaroni incident. Brand new microwave. Supposed to go over the stove but so far it's only made it to the top of our dresser.

One of my favorite things...when my girls come up to me and spontaneously throw their arms around me and promise they'll always live with their Dad and I. Next door at the furthest and always with a sister or two (and a bunch of animals) for roommates.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Midwife interviews. Tour of an organic farm.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

God Knows.

Once again, the school year is winding down.

All I can say is "THANK GOD."

It has been very challenging to keep up with our work over the past few weeks since Baby Garrett #5 decided to make her/his prescence undeniable. I usually love our school days but lately it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I'm like a giant baby myself: I eat every 2 hours, spit up, pee constantly, need a nap (I'd take 2 if it were possible), wake up all night long (again with the bathroom thing), and cry a few times a day. In fact, I do want my Moooooommmmmmmmy!

But God is good. All of the time. And with Him, all things are possible. Even making it through the miserable first part of pregnancy for a busy homeschooling momma.

We are a week away from finishing our science course. Reese finished math for the year. See, God knew what was coming even though I didn't. Back during last summer when I was consumed with planning our year out, I thought it was kind of crazy that we would be done with science so much sooner than our other subjects. It sort of bugged me because I wanted all the subjects to end close to same time. And sometimes I got frustrated when Reese would drag her feet on her math lessons. But she finished her book at exactly the right time. Any sooner and we would have started on the next book and it would have been a little tough to justify ending her math lessons for the year right as we started a new book. But God knew! She finished her book the week I found out I was pregnant.

God has given me the amazing gift of feeling pretty good in the mornings. By the afternoon I can barely get off the couch. But that's ok because we have Netflix and a toddler who faithfully takes at least a 2 hour nap in the afternoons. This allows me to get what we need to get done in the mornings and take it easy in the afternoons.

Hailey has soccer at 6 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. When I first heard this schedule, I grumbled inwardly because that would put us home to do dinner and baths after 7. But God knew! God knew that afternoons would be especially tough for me and that it would be a wonderful blessing to have a later practice so Jason could be available to keep tabs on the younger girls and watch Hailey for most of her practice.

Things are a little rough right now. And probably will be for the next 6 or 7 weeks. Gaaaaah--that's a long time. But wait. God is GOOOD. Take it one day at a time. A journey of 1,ooo miles begin with a single step. My help comes from The Lord. And God knows what is coming up. I don't. So I am happy to trust in Him. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28

Who Cares About What Other People Think Anyway?

Uh, the unfortunate answer to that would be: ME! I care what other people think! And I wish I didn't! And collectively, I really don't but when I am talking to someone face to face it turns out that I do find myself wondering what they think of me.

Particularly when it comes to my little brood of girls.

So the girls go everywhere with me. And no matter what, we always get comments. Which I try to let roll off my back or to take in a positive way. But I don't always succeed. "Don't you guys own a t.v.?" has been my favorite so far, btw.

I understand we probably look a little chaotic thundering down the isle at the grocery store but really, we only have four children! People react like we have 20. I am always ALWAYS careful to respond kindly and cheerfully that our children are a blessing and that I enjoy them very much--yes, even though they are all girls. And most people are very sweet.

But sometimes they say things like "Bet you were hoping that last one was a boy." and it makes me really sad! Because I love the fact that I have 4 girls. And I adore each one and am so grateful to be their mother. And I don't want my girls to ever think that maybe I didn't want them or wanted them to be of the male gender. Sure, we'd love to have a son at some point but if we don't, then we are ok (my husband being part of the "we"--he loves his little girls, too).

And then there is the pressure to have everyone behave super awesomely out of this world when we are in public. If you see a family with two children and one is having a fit then it's "Bless that poor mother's heart." And if you see a family with 4 or more children and one is misbehaving it is "That mother probably doesn't have the time to discipline her children."

Same thing for me. If I am having a bad day or am frustrated with one of my girls and I speak a little too harshly to one of my children or don't have a glowing smile on my face or even look worn out tired (I have allergies--that's where the bags come from!) then people automatically assume that it's because of "all those children" and either feel sorry for me or think that I deserve what I get for being so stupid as to not figure out how to stop the children from coming. No one wants to hear the bad day from a mom of a brood of kids b/c I've made my bed and now I have to lie in it.


So I'm thinking I need a t-shirt that says:

Yes, they are all mine.
No, we are not Catholic.
Yes, we know what causes pregnancy.
No, we are not trying for a boy.
Yes, I do have my hands full but I LOVE it!
No, call me crazy but I am not scared for them to become teenagers.

And I'll start wearing that t-shirt when I start showing with Baby #5 (due 11-11-11)

Hehe :)