I can't believe my last entry in this here little blog was nearly four months ago. Life was different four months ago.

If my life was a newspaper then in mid October the headline would have read "My Mom has Cancer." Sometimes I still can't believe it. It was so hard to face the possibility of losing both my parents just as I had crossed over into my thirties. For heaven's sake--my mother is only 53 years old! But cancer doesn't care about that kind of stuff. And lung cancer is especially brutal. Without treatment the doctors gave my mom 6 months. Mom was not sure she wanted to endure chemotherapy--I can't say I blame her. I get wickedly sick and exhausted while pregnant and that has made me appreciate my health more than most people my age I believe.

Mom chose to undergo treatment and as of right now she has two sessions of chemo left. Her tumor has shrank 50%--somethign her doctor did not expect to happen. Her doctor has been happy with her blood counts--another miracle. I don't know if its possible for her to go into remission--its very unlikely she will be "cured." But she is fighting the good fight and hanging in there. I'm so proud of her--she has faced this with amazing bravery and has kept her sense of humor. I know she has terrible days--she doesn't say this to me but I know they have to be there. But above all she has concrete faith in the Lord and His plans and has surrendered herself to his will. This has been an incredible blessing to me--I know she is in the Lord's hands. We will see each other some day! When she gets Home she will have so many waiting for her--my dad and the baby Jason and I lost are two people who come to my mind.

My Mom and I have had more than our share of mother/daughter conflicts. We are both incredibly stubborn people. I think she might actually be worse than me and that's pretty amazing! I love her so much though. She was the best mother ever when I was a little kid and I always felt loved. I hate the thought of losing her but I am ever so grateful that we've all been given the gift of being able to say goodbye. And who knows--we might not have to say goodbye as soon as we think! Who knows what God has in store?!