I enjoy vomit so much. Especially when it covers my neck, hair, and chest, is pizza flavored, and is not mine. I would commend myself for not throwing across the room the person who slimed me...but then how can you be anything but sad for that person when they are 17 months old and have no idea why they feel so badly and the only thing that makes them feel better is clutching mommy and barfing into her hair?
Having children has made me overcome my seemingly insurmountable phobia of all things vomit. It took about two children for this to happen. Child number one received very little sympathy when she had a gastrointestinal bug. If Hailey could remember this then her memory would be of her mom running FROM her covering her own mouth and then only being cuddled after being bathed and disinfected. And then of Mommy covering the couch with every towel in the house and surrounding her by pans and large bowls and being told that in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, she had to remain on the covered couch. And of Mommy making a frantic call to Daddy that he HAD BETTER NOT BE LATE COMING HOME FROM WORK because as Master-of-Vomit of this house he had a few messes to clean up. I'm not proud of this but all mommies have their weak areas, right? Thank goodness child #1 only had the barf bug exactly two times and one of those times she was old enough to make it in the potty (I will sing her praises forever for that).
Child #2 had it a bit easier because by the time she came along I was so tired that I was unable to muster up the energy to run from the vomit. Plus I couldn't leave that stuff lying around b/c invariably one of the kids (or the cats) would get into it and that is just intolerable on all levels. Thankfully Reese has only had the barf bug twice and she is a very courteous hurler: she brings up very very small amounts of puke probably because she only eats occasionally.
Either because she is the third child and therefore exposed to more germs or because it is her lot in life, Paige has had the throw up bug at least 4 times in her life. Having my sleep interrupted by the dreaded puke sound (known to all parents and pet owners) no longer drives me to tears. Things get cleaned up and the kid comes into our bed and if everyone sleeps thru the next episode then the mess will still be there when we get up. Thank God for laundry machines and for carpet cleaner. And for the Walgreens down the street (it's not 24 hour but really, what do we need at 3 a.m. that we don't already have??). And for the option of taking as many hot showers as one may need to cleanse one's self of the slime. And for husbands who don't travel often enough to escape this joy of having children. And mostly thank God for little people who provoke such strong feelings in us that those of us who have a terrible irrational fear of regurgitated food will willingly offer up our own hair to catch the vomit if it will make things easier for our child for just a moment!!
