Homeschooling Changed ME

All homeschooling families are familiar with the same comments they get from friends, family, the general public, etc ("I could never homeschool my kids..." yadda yadda yadda)

And most of us have our pat answers ("It works for us..." yadda yadda yadda).

The one type of comment that I have a hard time giving a one lined response to is the "I'm not patient/organized/educated enough to homeschool." or "I don't get along with my kids/they wouldn't listen to me".

I want to grab that person and head for Starbucks for a nice visit over a cup of coffee and let them know what they are missing out on.

I want to tell that them that when you and your husband together make the decision to educate and disciple your children at home, to teach them to love The Lord, that God takes us as we are (impatient, fearful, disorganized, self-centered, discouraged, unfocused, unconfident, lazy, you name it) and he kneads out those lumps. He grows our character and we are forced to rely on Him to make up for our shortcomings.

I would never claim to have arrived. No way. But I am a much better Christ-follower, wife, and mother than I was before we began our homeschooling journey. Quite frankly, my patience surprises the heck out of me on a daily basis. And I know that the hunger I have to learn about God's story of the world is from Him. My worldview has changed drastically as I strive to stay ahead of my children to help guide them. Both Jason and I can claim that.

I believe those are things that we would have missed out if we had decided to forgoe the responsibility of educating our children at home. I'd miss out on learning the extreme patience and self control it takes to live with multiple little people day in and day out (ongoing process of course--some days my jaw hurts from gritting my teeth). I'd miss out on learning along side my children, seeing things like history and science through the eyes of an adult. All of my nasty character deficets (named above) would go on mostly unchallenged as I had more time to "focus on myself".

I don't have all the answers as a parent or a homeschooler. I don't know exactly how we'll handle teaching high school or how I'll manage teaching 5+ children as time goes on. But God has given me all the answers I need today to continue what He has called our family too. And I'm content with that.

And I'm so very thankful not to be missing out.

Sad Goodbye

My mom went home to Virginia today. She got to stay a week and a half longer than we had originally planned. That was both good and bad. The good part was that she ended up feeling better because she was put on continuous oxygen after spending two days in the ICU (the bad part). Her cancer has metastisized (the really bad part).

Let me just say that watching someone you love suffer and being able to do nothing about it is awful. It's not the same as when someone has an injury or the flu. That's when your role is to support, help and be encouraging. "You're going to feel better soon!" is appropriate.

When someone has terminal cancer, you can't really say that. Well, you can but you might as add on "...because your going to be dead." There's not really a lot that is comforting that you can say. The pain isn't going to get to better, it's going to get worse. Right at this miserable moment, the person is going to feel the best they will ever feel again in their life. No hope for relief of the agonizing pain...until death.

Which then leads you to sort of wish they would hurry up and die so they wouldn't be in so much pain.

Which leads you to feel like a jerk for even thinking that.

Which is just about the most confusing and awful place to be (at least on your side...the person with cancer has the really awful part).

Anyways, it just stinks to watch someone slowly die.

My dad died in an accident and it was completely unexpected. He lived for ten days after the accident but everyone (over age 12) knew he wasn't going to make it. No chance to say goodbye because of his condition (burns). No chance to say the things he'd been holding back or make the changes he'd hoped to get around to making.

We've been happy to have the chance to say goodbye to my mom. On one side it's heartwrenching for obvious reasons. On the other side, we've been able to make memories and had lots of time to process what is coming. I've been grateful to have this time with her. I consider it a gift from The Lord.

Still not sure which is worse though, the way my dad died or the way my mom is dying. Not sure I'll ever be able to have an opinon on that.

Mom and I agree on this: the only comfort is provided by God. We will all be reunited in heaven. There really isn't much else good to say. She's 54 years old. Soon my siblings and I will be without both of our parents. My little brother is 23 years old and our dad died when he was just six weeks old. I feel especially bad for him. It just plain stinks.

Hate to be depressing but there's not much more to say.

Money Well Spent

So glad I spent $50 on a chicken dirt bath!

Delighted that those beautiful flowers that were in it for a week were so thoroughly enjoyed by the resident poultry!

Can you see how much our chickens respect me? Trembling with fear, aren't they? (rolling my eyes)